I'm on fire again today and I want to eat everyone's soul, I'm fantasizing about the Sadist non stop, but I'm going to fuck the Painter later and I"m going to fuck him hard. His world is about to be turned the fuck upside down, I will work him into a frenzy he's never experienced. Why can't he be sadistic? It's a rare trait, and one I fucking covet. I'm having flash fantasies about slapping the Sadist in the face and watching his face harden and change in the way I know will happen, maybe I'll get one of those knowing smiles, the thoughts of what he will do to me once he has me bound up crossing through his pretty green eyes... I see him yanking me by the hair, I hear myself groan and smile, egging him on, he kisses me sweetly to compensate the torture he's about to lay on me. Throw me to the ground. Do I get back up? I get confused as to fight back or just let go, I want to do both so I laugh because I'm a bitch brat and start to stand, only to have him use his boot to knock me over, stepping on my face, looking down at me laughing as I now struggle to get away from him and god I don't even have the patience for these fantasies right now, let's skip to the part where he hits me in the face enough to placate me so he can throw me on my stomach, renching my arms behind my back... rope, rope is what I want, messy and harsh. - God I'm distracted, that first time he zip-tied my hands behind my back he spun me around and looked at me, naked, and smiled, pinching my nipples saying something about how he was instantly turned on, and so was I. He's tall, so tall, and manly, and scruffy and hot. Always with these small moments that I flash back to throughout the day...
I want him to put me in so much pain I can't think at all. I want it to be messy and rough and wild. Choke me, fuck me in the ass, hit me, whip me, cut me... He wants blood and tears and I want to give it to him, I want to be lost in him, screams behind a gag, shivering in anticipation, blindfolded, whimpering, begging for it to stop but ignored. Bruises and welts. Collar me and chain me to the floor. Rape me. Play piercings. Whips. Whips. WHIPS. Chains. Rope. Leather.
I am torturing myself because I can't fucking have any of this!
And as a side note, I'm such an amateur I don't even know what I really want. But I know I want to experiment with, like, all of it. Alright, maybe not all of it. Bitches be crazy. I just want him to push all my boundaries and limits.
Shit, I gotta go get shit done.
My skin is aching to hurt.
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